Three Steps to Reducing Your Body Checking Behaviors

Body checking is a safety-seeking behavior driven by anxiety and worry about one’s appearance. Body checking manifests in many different ways: lifting up your shirt to see your stomach in the mirror; pinching, poking or measuring your body; tugging your shirt away from your belly; obsessing about how you look as you walk past every store window. The intention of body checking is driven by a hope that if we “check” the body and feel content with it, our anxiety will decrease and we will feel “safe” in terms of our body image.

Even though the urge behind body checking is driven by a hope to reduce anxiety, it often does the opposite by acting as a trigger for body-oriented or disordered eating thoughts. When we body check, we are giving our brain a signal to think more about how we look, and unfortunately those thoughts are typically not positive. Body checking becomes particularly problematic when it becomes compulsive and consuming of our brain space and time.

How to reduce your body checking:

1. Bring awareness to your body checking behaviors. Start to notice when you are body checking, how you are body checking, and what triggers your urge to body check.

2. Work on actively resisting the urge to body check - this might mean:

   • challenging yourself not to look at your reflection in store windows

   • covering your mirror until the urges feel more manageable

   • writing a self-affirmation on your mirror that reminds you that your body is worthy and good

   • wearing a fidget ring or bracelet and directing your anxious energy towards them when feeling the urge to body check

   The less we give in to the urge to body check, the less we will eventually want to body check.

3. Notice when your urges to body check reduce and acknowledge your success. Allow yourself to appreciate what it feels like to have less of your brain space taken up by body image thoughts.

Why I Have a Problem with the New Weight Loss App for Kids

Weight Watchers rebranded last year to “WW”, which was smart branding on their part because old school diets such as Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem are no longer as popular as they once were. Now, we are sold the idea that we can be better, more moral people not by “dieting” but by “eating clean” or “eating whole”, but we fail to see that these “lifestyles” are another version of a diet repackaged and tied up with a new, more green bow. 

What better way to attract us millennials, the lovers of environmentalism, yoga, & self-care, than by convincing us that drinking a green juice or eating an avocado toast, will bring us closer to enlightenment (or at least the “yoga body” that makes people think we look enlightened). And through this all, some company somewhere is making a lot of money. The diet industry was projected to be worth $70 billion in 2018 and that amount is only projected to keep rising with time. 

Speaking of companies looking to make money off our country’s obsession with weight loss, WW has created a new weight loss app for children, called Kurbo.

While I hate that adults have to struggle with diet culture, thinking about young kids being exposed to a weight loss app like Kurbo makes me very, very sad. 

As a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, I can tell you that I have been receiving more and more requests to see kids, ages 12 and under, who are struggling with eating disorders of their own. I have had the experience of visiting a treatment center and seeing a child, that could not have been more than 10 years old, sitting in the audience of my presentation. 

If you’re unfamiliar with eating disorder treatment, when a person  has an eating disorder that is appropriate for a residential or inpatient level of care, that means that person has to live at the facility 24/7. For a child, this means that they have to spend the night, every night, away from their parents, their siblings, their family pet, their favorite books and blanket and live instead with the other patients and staff at the treatment center. Of course, parents and families can visit, but when I think about how scared I was to even go to summer camp as a kid, I can only imagine how terrifying it must be for a young child to have to go to treatment. 

Do you know where most eating disorders start? They start with a diet. Not all dieters develop eating disorders, but for the people that might be genetically predisposed or predisposed via their environment, a simple diet can trigger the thought process that develops into an eating disorder. So why would we sign our children up for a weight loss app that introduces them to the thoughts and behaviors associated with eating disorders? Why would we pay $69 a month for our children to have online coaching to learn what foods are “good” and “bad”, or in Kurbo’s case “yellow”, “red” and “green”? 

I do not expect diet culture to go away any time soon. We can bet that our children will hear about which foods are “good” or “bad” even if we refrain from using that language in our own households. If we want our children to learn to have a healthy relationship with food, why not encourage them to learn instead about tuning into their bodies. We can help them figure out what types of foods make their bodies feel good, that give them energy to play and study and all that good stuff that comes with childhood. And most importantly, why not teach our children that they are loved regardless of what they look like and help them build the self-confidence they need to live in this image-focused world? I do not want another company to profit off our children feeling bad about themselves. 

To learn more about the controversy surrounding the Kurbo app, check out this article from Refinery29:https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/08/240564/ww-weight-watchers-kids-diet-program-kurbo-controversy

To learn more about what to do if you are afraid your child is going to be fat, see this blog by eating disorder expert, Beth Mayer, LICSW: https://more-love.org/2017/02/24/for-parents-who-are-afraid-that-their-kid-is-going-to-be-fat-an-interview-with-beth-mayer/

A Poem on Body Image by Hollie Holden

Today I asked my body what she needed, 

Which is a big deal 

Considering my journey of 

Not Really Asking That Much. 

I thought she might need more water. 

Or protein. 

Or greens. 

Or yoga. 

Or supplements. 

Or movement. 

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks, 

Her roundness where I would like flatness, 

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes 

That form a bundle of Never-Quite-Right-Ness, 

She whispered very gently: 

Could you just love me like this?

~Written by Hollie Holden, 2016

4 Tips for Making it Through the Holidays Binge-Free

For many, Halloween means dressing up in a silly costume, taking the kids in your life trick-or-treating, and marathon watching Stranger Things and for most, Halloween involves in some way, shape, or form a big bowl of candy.

For people struggling with Binge Eating Disorder (BED), Halloween can mark the start of a 2-month long holiday obstacle course with a finish line of January 2nd: navigating an alternate path past the CVS candy aisle, trudging through family and work holiday get-togethers, hurdling over Thanksgiving, Christmas, & New Years with a final face-off against the January 1st“New Year, New you!” weight-loss ads.

This obstacle course takes a heck of a lot of endurance especially if all the while you’re trying to steadily hold your progress in BED recovery like your own Olympic torch – never to be dropped, never to be extinguished, and held high with pride. Don’t be surprised if your metaphorical arm gets tired…It’s not easy to run with a fiery torch in your hand!

All jokes aside, here are some tips for maintaining your progress in BED recovery through the holiday season (You CAN do this!):

• Meet yourself where you’re at: You might be at a place in your recovery where you can attend all of the holiday functions and benefit from exposing yourself to former binge-foods while remaining binge-free. You may also be at a point in your recovery where being surrounded by holiday delicacies is not manageable for you. Be honest with yourself: do you need to avoid the candy aisle? Do you need to set a limit for how long you can stay at your work’s Christmas lunch? Either way – It’s OKAY!

• Practice Self-Compassion: Yes, every time I say “Self-Compassion” in my BED support group, I hear a resounding group sigh. I get it! Self-Compassion is NOT easy, but is the cure to shame and self-judgement. If you slip-up and have a binge (or 2 or 3 or 10), instead of beating yourself up, talk to yourself as if you were a dear friend: “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. This isn’t worth beating yourself up over. You are a good person. The food you eat has nothing to do with your self-worth. You are worthy, and valuable, and gosh darn-it people like you!” Remember, you are SO much more than your eating disorder.

• HALT: Are you Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? If it’s the holidays, you can probably say yes to all of these questions. Make sure you take a moment to “HALT” when feeling vulnerable to a binge:

  • Hungry? Eat a nutrient-dense snack like a fruit/veggie/or protein. If you’re still hungry, eat another. Wait 10 minutes, and ask yourself if you’re “belly hungry” again (Thank you to the group member who taught me that helpful phrase).

  • Angry? Turn the music up loud in your car and sing at the top of your lungs. Punch a pillow. Do 15 jumping jacks. Yell! Dance like crazy to “Monster Mash”. Release your anger in a way that does not involve pushing your anger down with food.

  • Lonely? Reach out for support. Text a friend. Facetime a family member. Call your therapist. Pet your dog. It’s a lot easier to successfully make it to the end of the holiday season with someone by your side to cheer you on.

  • Tired? REST! Yes, there are presents to wrap, greeting cards to send, and financial reports due by the end of the year, but you will not be able to complete these tasks and maintain your recovery unless you are taking time to rest. Your body and mind can only handle so much without time to reenergize.

• Do Self-Care: When you’re taking care of yourself and feeling good, you are less vulnerable to bingeing or utilizing other self-harming behaviors. Make time and space for YOU this holiday season. Eat regularly throughout the day. Buy yourself a Christmas gift that brings you joy. Take yourself to a gentle yoga class. Make yourself a cup of warm apple cider. Nap by the fire. Walk through the fallen leaves. You deserve it.

And finally, remember that “normal” eating is flexible eating. You are not a good person for eating brussel sprouts, and you are not a bad person for eating pumpkin pie. All foods fit. It is normal to occasionally overeat, and if you do overeat, it does not mean that you need to punish yourself with restriction the next day. Eat breakfast like you normally would and continue holding your eating disorder recovery torch high.

This blog was originally published at https://www.medainc.org/4-tips-for-making-it-through-the-holidays-binge-free/ and is republished here with permission.