Online Eating Disorder Recovery Support during COVID 19

*Updated November 25, 2020

We are now experiencing the global impact of COVID 19. The recommendation from the CDC is to stay at home and self-quarantine in order to “flatten the curve” and save the most vulnerable in our society from contracting the virus. While social distancing is the right thing to do, it proves challenging for our mental health.

Therapeutic & community supports help many in their journey to eating disorder recovery. Luckily, with the virtual capabilities available today “social distancing” does not have to mean complete social isolation during COVID 19.

Many therapists, including myself, are offering virtual therapy in lieu of being able to meet in-person. If you or someone you know could benefit from virtual therapy during this time, please reach out to me at monique@moniqueblmhc.com.

Additionally, here are a few online resources that I have been informed of for those struggling with eating disorders and their loved ones. (I will continue to update this blog post if I hear of further online resources.)

The Eating Disorders Foundation

EDF is offering a range of virtual support groups including an eating disorder support group for those ages 30+ and a men’s eating disorder recovery support group. Find more info here: https://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/get-help/support-groups/

Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association

MEDA is a local Massachusetts nonprofit organization that supports people struggling with eating disorders as well as their families. They are currently offering both free and paid online support groups. They also host a family and loved ones support group that is always free.

They also offer recovery-oriented content and instagram live interviews on their instagram account.

Instagram Live Meal Support

@covid19eatingsupport is offering free, live “100% Health at Every Size meal support every hour starting at 8am EDT & going around the clock so you can eat your meals & snacks in the company of others!”

The Alliance for Eating Disorders

The Alliance for Eating Disorders is a non-profit supporting those struggling with eating disorders and their families.

The Alliance is offering free virtual support check-ins, one for family members of those struggling and one for those working on eating disorder recovery themselves.

The Alliance also offers helpful instagram live sessions and recovery-oriented content on their instagram account.


Free Online Support Groups offered by Treatment Centers

ED Support Group by Alsana 

Family Support Group by Alsana

Center for Discovery is offering the following free & paid support groups virtually both for alumni and community members.

Eating Recovery Center is offering a wide range of support groups including meal support groups that are open to ERC alumni as well as community members. Find more info here: https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/alumni/virtual-support/online-support-groups 

Nalgona Positivity Pride

Nalgona Positivity Pride offers a series of lectures and workshops virtually - open to all, but more specifically focused to support BIPOC struggling with body image and/or disordered eating.


ED's Promise of Control

“It's funny, in a human kind of way, how we can convince ourselves that we're in control at the very moment we are beginning to lose it.”

― William C. Moyers


Eating disorders promise control.

Can’t control your family dysfunction? You can control your weight instead.

Can’t keep your partner from leaving you? You can get your 18 year old body back.

Can’t prevent you and your loved ones from getting sick? You can “clean” up your eating.

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At first, you do in fact feel in control, like you are putting your life in order. But who is really in control when you feel compelled to workout for hours a day, restrict your diet to the point of no longer being able to eat at a restaurant or always follow a dessert with a rush of punitive, hateful thoughts toward yourself?


When we are in the midst of an eating disorder, we feel as if we are in control. We are praised for our “will power” by outsiders but inside our brain is being controlled, not by us, but by the disorder itself, ED. ED has the power to  completely consume our life until everything we once enjoyed feels distant and gray and only ED feels important.


It may seem foreign at first to believe that you are in fact not your eating disorder and that it is possible to reconnect to you, the true healthy you. However, with the proper support, you can begin to develop an awareness of which of your thoughts and behaviors are driven by ED. You can begin to understand how these thoughts and behaviors have helped you cope. With that understanding, you can distance yourself from ED’s voice. You will then have the space to start making your own choices - choices of recovery, not the eating disorder’s choices. Instead of reacting and acting upon every demand of the eating disorder (“You must get to the gym; You must not eat carbs; You must not gain weight.”) you can begin to take back control from the eating disorder by making choices in line with your true values.  Values like being a good friend, being kind (to yourself and others), being honest, etc. When you have the ability to make your own choices, it will then be you who is control of your life, not ED.

Tips for Talking to your Doctor about their Weight Stigma and your Eating Disorder

I often hear from clients that they are afraid to go to the doctor’s office. I don’t blame them when I hear their stories: The doctor told them they were eligible for gastric bypass surgery (even though they had not asked about it and have an active eating disorder); They had a heart rate in the low 40’s and the doctor told them they were perfectly healthy (even though they had a BMI of 17 and an active eating disorder); They went to the doctor’s for a sinus infection and the doctor told them they need to lose weight. The list goes on…

However, it remains important to receive medical care. Although we wish the medical community understood more about eating disorders, we unfortunately have to learn to be our own best advocates until the medical community catches up.

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Here are MEDA’s 5 tips for speaking to your doctor about their weight stigma and/or your eating disorder:

  1. Don’t be intimidated: Remember, doctors are just people who have gone to medical school. Yes, they have spent years studying the human body, but that does not mean that they are perfect, all-knowing beings. Even though eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness (Smink et al, 2012), a 2014 national survey found that out of 637 internal medicine, pediatric, family medicine, psychiatry, and child and adolescent psychiatry programs, 514 did not offer any scheduled or elective rotations for eating disorders (Mahr et al, 2015).

  2.  Use your Voice: Doctors are often overbooked, overworked, and rushing to the next appointment. We all know the overwhelming feeling that comes from listening to your doctor rapidly firing off questions while simultaneously directing you to stick out your tongue, say “ahh”, take deep breaths, cough three times, undress, redress, on and on. It may seem impolite to interrupt this process to ask your own questions, but you deserve to be heard, especially when it comes to your health. Speak up and express your questions and concerns about your care and your body until you feel satisfied with the information you have received. It is not your fault that you have an eating disorder. It is a serious mental illness that deserves appropriate care, and you may need to be very upfront with your doctors regarding your ED. Learning to use your voice is an important part of eating disorder recovery - think of it as an opportunity to practice.

  3. Confidence is Key: It’s a natural response to respect a person of authority’s opinion, but you are the expert on yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, let the doctor know, including when you feel dismissed. For example, if not seeing your weight is helpful for your recovery, tell the doctor and medical staff directly. If they happen to let that information slip, bring it to their attention. If you feel like your doctor is dismissing your condition due to your body size or eating disorder diagnosis, tell them. Doctors take the Hippocratic oath to “do no harm”. It may be uncomfortable, but if their comment or behavior harmed you, you can let them know. By educating your doctor on how they made you feel, you may be saving another patient from a similar experience.

  4. Come Prepared: Have you created a plan with your treatment team for how you will handle your doctor’s appointments? Have you done research of your own on a suspected condition? Bring this information with you. Write your questions and symptoms down in advance. Bring along a friend or loved one if you need support. When you are prepared, you will be less likely to panic and forget your questions. If you have literature to share with your doctor about eating disorders, weight stigma, or any other condition, share it with your doctor and express how important it is to you that they consider the information. They may not have had a chance to learn about these topics in their medical training.

  5. Connect them to MEDA: MEDA offers free trainings to the medical community on eating disorders and weight stigma. If you feel like your doctor could benefit from a training, connect them to MEDA at education@medainc.org or at 617-558-1881.

Resources to bring to your doctor’s office on eating disorders and weight stigma:

Citations:

Mahr, F. , Farahmand, P. , Bixler, E. O., Domen, R. E., Moser, E. M., Nadeem, T. , Levine, R. L. and Halmi, K. A. (2015), A national survey of eating disorder training. Int. J. Eat. Disord., 48: 443-445. doi:10.1002/eat.22335

Smink, F. E., van Hoeken, D., & Hoek, H. W. (2012). Epidemiology of eating disorders: Incidence, prevalence and mortality rates. Current Psychiatry Reports,14(4), 406-414.

This blog was originally published at https://www.medainc.org/tips-talking-doctor-weight-stigma-eating-disorder/ and is republished here with permission.